fadin' away like a slow leak ..

some say we're all living to die , but deep down ,

it feels like i'm dying inside.

when your plane no longer flies & your sun doesn't shine ,

& all you can do is look at the moon while your crying inside.

everything looks grim , & happiness ? it's just another word now.

will i ever be content ?

at peace ?

or will i be cold ?

with a invitation to a deathtrap known as my heart.

the way i am is not the way i wanna be , & now not even i , can see i in me.

so i smoke & float on , with my coat on , cause it's cold where i'm going ..

C A S S.

"..even if it means biting the bullet n lying."

so i was talking to the big homie today about his & my relationship. just tryna get some insight cause we're in similar situations .. & i was told something i've been told before & already knew. "females are always right." lol .. so many people have tried to express this to me throughout my life but i never wanted to listen .. simply because i believe , right is right & wrong is wrong. if you're wrong , you need to be made aware of that. but what people keep telling me is that in order to make your relationship work & keep everybody happy , you have to lie. lol .. sounds bad but it's the truth. do whatever you have to do to make it work , lie to her & tell her she's right. that's what females want to hear. apologize , even if you don't mean it if that's what it takes. there's a difference between being dishonest & doing whatever it takes to make it work .. you just have to find that fine line & decide for yourself if it's worth "biting the bullet" ..

misunderstood.

why is it okay for females to show emotion but when i guy does it he's considered "soft" or a "bitch nigga" ?

mainly because males are only supposed to show emotions that are perceived to be masculine & strong. i.e : anger , or any emotion that branches from that.

but news flash , WE HAVE FEELING'S too. we have emotions too & should be able to show them & express ourselves without being looked at as being weak. the majority of males will react to any situation with anger because it's the only choice he has. he can't be sad or hurt , society won't allow it. so he has to cover it up with hatred , anger , frustration , or put on a nonchalant front.

look at all of our past presidents , all men of course. society doesn't trust a female to be the head of the country because people feel they will base decisions off of emotions & not logic. although that may be true , it may not be half bad. i believe our country would be a lot more peaceful & we wouldn't be in the middle of a war right now.

my point is simply this , males have emotions also & we should be treated as such. we aren't rocks , our hearts beat the same as females do. keep that in mind when you make a decision or speak. don't just think "he won't care anyway" because we do , maybe more than you & sometimes more than you know.

C A S S.

goodbye FL , hello GA ..

soooo , last night i made the short quest back from FL to GA. it was a quick & pleasant drive. i was on the phone with my Lady the whole time .. well until the end , she started to get tired. BUT she kept me company til i arrived home safely. :) shoutout to her. ; back to the matter at hand .. am i gonna miss FL ? not really. i'm gonna miss my peoples there though. i feel like me moving back here is better for me & will allow me to better myself as a person. although i enjoyed being in FL & it was a great learning experience .. i realized that pkola was a dead end , as a city that is. with our economy how it is right now , it's hard to prosper in a small city. i.e : limited job opportunities. that was the major dilemma me & bro faced -trying to find employment. it got to the point where we just gave up in a sense -a person can only take so much. but now we're back to it , & on the come up still .. i'd be lying if i said i didn't see greatness in both our futures. & wherever life decides to take us , i'm ready. i'll keep y'all updated on the come up progression.

get to know me ..

i'm random. i'm a hippie. i don't care what you say. i rather be an outkast.

i'm against fitting in with society. i love music.

i understand females. my mother means the most. i enjoy smoking weed. i don't enjoy alcohol. i think our governments fukk'd. i'm really carefree. i have a contradictive personality. i BALL. i procrastinate. i'm a philosopher. i believe in "me" time. i can't be categorized. i'm smarter than you think. i'm spontaneous. i have big ears. i'm a peace maker that will whoop your ass. i eat poon. i'm a sex addict. i can write forever , & you'll never know me ..

.. R E L A T i O N S H i P S ..

hello bloggin world .

it's Cass as you already know .. i'm back on my blog shit , AGAiN lol .

i gotta be more consistent , i realize that & i'm gonna work on it .

lemme get into the topic at hand though ;

muhfukkin RELATiONSHiPS ;

first off , i'm not trying to come off as if i know every & anything there is to know about being in a monogamous relationship .. i'm just a 19 year old doode with a lil experience who wants to express his views ; now-a-days , i feel as if the majority of couples are wrapped up in a lot of , how shall i say it , "fukkery" . their focus is misguided & their relationships are built up around a lie almost . the media has portrayed a "good/healthy" relationship around false truths . every relationship doesn't run smoothly , as cliche as that sounds . these lovey dovey , semi-perfect emotional bonds .. it rarely works that way in this thing we call life .. everyone seems as if they're planning for the future so much that they lose sight of the present .. & consequently , lose each other in a relationship that could have potentially been a prosperous one . & when it's all said & done , what did you leave the relationship with ? ; some good sex , couple decent memories , & a lesson learned if you're smart . was it really worth it ? i highly doubt it .

that empty feeling that leaves you dwelling in despair at night while you try to rest & hopefully sleep the pain away .. that's if you actually cared & put any type of effort into thee relationship to make it work even in the slightest bit ;; & thee L O V E word is thrown around so loosely it seems . maybe it's just thee infatuation with how one makes you feel , or the sex that has your emotions in a flurry every time you think of your significant other .. or the feeling you get when you see their name in your phone . how after an argument all you wanna do is send a txt saying you're sorry although you weren't in the wrong just to get back to your love high .. putting your pride aside for the sake of seeing them happy because their happiness means more than yours .. somehow this turned into a blogg about love , yet i don't feel as i digressed . because shouldn't a relationship be based on love & the deeper more sincere emotions ? not the money , or the expensive dates & gifts , or how "cute" y'all look together . more so based on the the time you spent locked in your room in complete serenity .. so quiet you can almost hear what she's thinking , as you listen to each breath she takes as her heart beats with yours ..

D A M N ;

i want that .. something real all the way through , not these fake , momentary connections that you know won't make it through the end of the month .

when i find that , or shall i say when i find her , umma hold on with everything i have , & even after i have nothing to give .. i'll continue to give her my all ;

yoo , my lil blasian ninja inspired this A LOT . she deep yo , real shit lol . not just ya typical , pretty , "exotic" looking female . shid , she even surprised me o.O that rarely happens .

fukk wit her ; http://twitter.com/lalalakeshia

-C A S S .

randoms about the Cass man .

• EVERY female i deal with thinks i'm a hoe , talk to a lot of females , or have a GF .. NO MATTER WHAT I TELL THEM .
• i LOVE , i repeat , LOVE .. eating poon ;)
• i'm a mama's boy & she'll always be my main lady .
• i don't too much trust females .. which is one of the main reasons i've committed infidelity .
• i get told i look like Usher at least twice a week .
• although every male claims to be , i really am addicted to sex .. try me if you think i'm joking .
• i prefer watching cartoons over anything else .
• i think porn is entertaining in a non-sexual way .
• i wish a had a baby boy .. but if a female thinks she's pregnant , i be shook on the low .
• i'm a ladies man . =)
• i have a group of best friends that i consider my brothers .
• i have the most fun doing "nothing" with my brotha blaze . NO BROKE BACK lmao .
• i have jealous tendencies , but it's only because i have a huge ego .
• i'm arrogant .. & i hate being called conceited , there is a difference .
• i used to skate from 6th-8th grade & i'm gonna start again when i move to Fl .
• if i woulda stayed a virgin throughout high school , i'd be at a D1 school with a 4.0 .
• i rather txt than talk on the phone .. simply because when i'm on the phone , i'm missing out on other txts lol .
• i'm gonna "ink my whole body i don't give a mothafukk" .
• don't discriminate when it comes to females .
• i came to the realization that i've been IN love less times than i thought i was .
• if i didn't wanna be financially stable when i got older , i would lounge around , have sex & smoke weed everyday . lol
• wanna meet another female i'd do anything for .
• i'm tired of writing this so this is my last random fact . =)

-Cass .